With EFT Tapping

This is one of those that I stumbled across myself as I was doing my own work. It lead to some really powerful insights and some deep inner work too!

I was looking at my relationship with my parents from the viewpoint of a young child. After all, that’s the origin of where so many things first “get stuck” in our lives.  I was exploring the things I felt disappointed about from my childhood.

All of a sudden this very powerful phrase came to mind and I did some wonderful tapping around. I used the setup phrase, “Even though they didn’t show me they love me the way I needed them to, I deeply and completely love and except myself.”

Disappointed they didn’t do it the way I needed them to…

The key here is that they didn’t show me in the way that I needed them to show me. It’s not that they didn’t love me.  It’s that through the eyes of the child I was way back then, I didn’t recognize that they loved me…base on my pre-teen interpretation of their actions. And that was especially true in those moments of childhood upset, or childhood disappointment for things not going my way. So it’s kind of a viewpoint of, I needed them to do THIS, and they did THAT instead. And that thing they did, wasn’t “love” to me.

(As a parent myself, I’m sure that I “inflicted” some version of that upon my children too.  It just comes with being a parent, I’m sure!)

As a more concrete example, from the viewpoint of a young child (who knew that money was not an issue for the family) when I received that Sears five-speed stingray bike for my birthday instead of the 10 speed Schwinn that I really wanted, I took that to mean that I wasn’t “good enough” or I wasn’t “loved enough” to be given the bike that I really wanted, and would have served me well form many years to come. Certainly that was not the message that my parents intended to send to me, but that was how I interpreted it as a preteen.

(Yes, all of my friends did have 10-speeds, and I was the only one who didn’t.  I grew up being the odd-man-out in many ways because my parents weren’t willing to invest a little more in things which would have brought me into the social norms of the time.  I was even teased about wearing Sears corduroy pants instead of blue jeans in Jr. High.)

There was another “Christmas” incident that probably happened around the same age.  Both my (13-years older) sister and I wanted a clock-radio for Christmas. She got the big AM/FM clock radio that was really nice and sounded great, and I got the lousy little AM only clock radio with the little tiny speaker that sounded bad.  My interpretation, again through the eyes of a pre-teen with three 10+ year older siblings, was that I wasn’t “good enough” or “loved enough” to receive what I wanted and what would serve me long term.  (I never did get an AM/FM clock radio.)

Now the rest of the story, is that…

I was at the age were a little boy goes around searching the house for where the Christmas presents are hidden.  I remember finding several boxes wrapped in unprinted paper with names in pencil on them.  I’m pretty sure that I found my sister’s clock-radio that day.

The other thing that I found was the Chemistry set that I had really really wanted for Christmas a few years before.  It had not been given to me that year, and I never did receive it for Christmas or my Birthday, or anything else.  I though for sure that I was going to get it that year for Christmas.

…but I didn’t.  And that left me silently wondering if I was being punished for something…something like snooping around looking for Christmas presents.   Of course nothing was ever said to me about it.  Heck, I even doubt that my parents knew that I’d found it. 

But I always wondered, “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me that means I won’t get what I want? What’s wrong with me that means I can’t have what I want?”

That gut-wrenching question haunted me most of my life. 

And in my moments of sadness and disappointment it still comes up…or at least echos of it do. It’s something that I’ve invested lots of time tapping on when I stumble across incidents that have a component related to those feelings.

(Some time I’ll write about the vow that I found that was associated with that painful question.  That vow was holding things in place in a major way until I spotted the vow and released it!)

30-40 years after that Christmas, I saw the alcohol lamp that would have been part of that Chemistry set.  It was downstairs in the basement workshop of my parents home.  I asked my Dad about the Chemistry set.  He said that one parent had bought it and the other objected.  And then later when it was revisited again, the rolls had switched between who objected and who didn’t, so I never got it!  In the end, they finally dismantled the chemistry set (some 20 years after the purchase) when they were considering giving it to one of my nephews and decided that the chemicals “might not be good any more.”

Needless to say those incidents obviously left a mark since I’m still bringing it up.  But the insight and understanding I received by looking back on that incident, and spotting, “…the way I needed them to…” was nothing short of amazing.

So if you have something like that in your past I would suggest doing some tapping on, “Even though they didn’t show me they love me the way I needed them to, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.” Give that a try see if it doesn’t make a difference for you too.

And I’ll let you in on a secret…

This could be applied to anyone who “didn’t love you the way you needed them to.”  That means parents, family, friends, spouses, lovers, bosses, coworkers, you name it!  I’d be shocked if every person on the planet didn’t have some form of this issue buried in their personal history.

So if you have “a chemistry set” in your history, please leave a comment below, and be sure to LIKE this over on FaceBook and comment there too!

P.S.  My former girlfriend gave me “a chemistry set” for Christmas one year.  It was made up of various kinds and flavors of Tea.  It was nice of her to recognize the pain that incident caused and do her best to help smooth it over.  Unfortunately, while I have tapped away much of the pain, the incident will always be a part of my history.  I just need to continue to take any residual emotional charge off of it with EFT Tapping.  I still feel sad for that little boy and the spirit-crushing blows that came from those incidents. Guess I’ve got some more tapping to do!  Even though…

Click and LIKE on Facebook….

I’ve been in battle with the HOA about their landscape “friendly reminder notices” not containing enough detailed information to enable be to “fix the problem.” 

This has escalated to the point where I’ve requested a hearing with the HOA Board to try and resolve the issue.  I’ve written to them with my view on what’s happening and let them know that we all want the same thing: the problem fixed! I’ve done everything that I can at this point and now it’s time to wait. 

But I just can’t let it go!  I keep ruminating on it.  I have lots of conversations in my head about it.  I’ve tapped on it several times, and have been able to release a lot of the tension around it.  But I still just can’t let it go yet.

So I tapped on, “Even though I just can’t let this go, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.” And in the middle of the tapping I had clear realization.  The issue that keeps triggering me around this is not receiving the “friendly reminder” or even the second notice, it’s the fact that when I receive the second notice that I feel blindsided because to the best of my ability I’ve already dealt with the issue.  If you’ve ever been surprised by a problem that you didn’t see coming, especially when you thought everything was fine, or at least going to be fine, then you know the feeling….

“I’ve been blindsided!”

That “I’ve been blindsided” realization opened up a whole can of memories about where I was blindsided and how I felt about it.  And all of the feelings were very much the same – Shock, Disbelief, Anger, Resentment, and more. 

So I’ve got some more tapping to do on this one, especially with all of those emotions tying all of those incidents together with their emotional similarities. Yeah, that’s something that is DEFINITELY worth tapping on and releasing. I can only imagine how much better I’ll feel afterward. And I’ll probably be much more able to just…let it go!

UPDATE: “Surprise!” Let it go….

Update: I did a bunch more tapping and was surprised to see that ALL “surprises” were seen as negative!  Needless to say I was surprised by that!

I started tapping on, “Even though surprises blindside me and are a problem, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though nothing good ever comes out of getting  a surprise – I’m usually just disappointed that I got a “surprise” instead of what I really wanted, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway. Even though whenever I’ve tried to create a surprise with love and good wishes, I’ve been betrayed and it’s gone badly, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.”

That seems to have helped quite a bit. As I was tapping, a bunch of memories of the stories and “proof” that supported “surprises are bad” came floating to the surface, ready to be released with EFT Tapping.  And now, when I look at the “HOA stuff” I still feel that it’s unfair, but pretty much all of the other emotional hooks are gone.

PROGRESS!  It’s a wonderful thing!

What is lurking in your past that would be really useful to release and let it go with EFT Tapping?  Share your comments below.  And if you found this post useful or interesting, please LIKE the WithEFTTapping fan page on Facebook and visit here often.

WTF? Yes, this time I really DO mean “Welcome To Facebook!” 

Today is the very first day that the With EFT Tapping website and Facebook Fan Page are both live and ready for your visit.  I’ve been hard at work, behind the scenes for a long time, getting all of the tools, tricks, and secrets ready to share with you.  And today is the public unveiling!

With EFT Tapping has gone from just a thought  for a community of people interested in using EFT Tapping to transform their lives, into something even better.

I’ve been using and teaching EFT Tapping for about 15 years now, and during the last 5 years I have also focused on learning lots about “internet marketing” and all of the mechanics of building WordPress websites like this one.

It was a little over 5 years ago that I got my “last” layoff notice from a high-tech company.  I decided that I was done living with the uncertainties of working for some huge, impersonal company, for a boss who really didn’t care about their “underlings” as people. I’d been seen as a “resource” rather than a person for far too long.  It was time to bring some humanity back into my life. So I set out on a journey to create a life for myself where I can tie together my two greatest “loves” – Technology and Personal Growth – through helping people all over the world to…

Transform Your Life…With EFT Tapping!

My goal for my company, Transformation Bay LLC, is to create a financially abundant living for myself and my family.  And I plan do do so by helping people to transform their lives from, just surviving the day to day grind, into thriving in a life they love. 

I won’t apologize for saying that I plan to do so by “helping people profitably.” If I am struggling all day long to simply put food on the table and a roof over my head, how much energy do you think I will have left to give back to the world, and be of service? However, when I’m making a comfortable living, by helping people profitably, I will not only be able to give more in my business, but also through my business.

I’ve done enough personal work over the last 25 years moving down this path of self-improvement to know that I’m not the only one who appreciates a guiding hand on the journey.  I’ve been blessed to have met so many generous people who have been both financially thriving and giving at the same time.  Even so, I still see them stumble sometimes as the weight of the general “poverty consciousness” lands on their shoulders.  Tapping is certainly a great way to address that, but sometimes it takes a bit more of a radical shift in perspective too!

You can’t save the world if you can’t pay the rent!

And I plan to pay the rent by helping people profitably so that I can continue to help even more people.  Sure, I’ll have plenty of free resources so that anyone can get started with EFT Tapping.  The first of those is available right now.  It is a way to learn EFT Tapping free online with the EFT Quick Start Video Learning System.  The link is also in the menu system at the top of each page on this website.  In about 23 minutes one can go from not knowing what EFT Tapping even is, to knowing how to start applying it in their life. 

And there is another one of my sites which is loaded with free EFT Tapping videos and scripts too.  I teach people how to release their emotional upset fast on that site.  I’ve often said that we have a natural propensity to “bitch and complain” about the things that upset us.  And in my book, the best way out of that upset is to use EFT Tapping while focusing on the actual upset.  This technique is exactly what I teach over at TapAndBitch.com where I show people how to release their emotional upset fast!

Would you help me celebrate this “birthday” by leaving a comment below and give a FaceBook LIKE to the WithEFTTapping fan page please?  And if you could share it too, that would be AWESOME! 

Oh, and have some cake too!

Thanks for your help with the LIKE and SHARE!
Brad

I want to share with you the things that have given me the best, and most consistent, results.

That’s why I created this series of 21 Ways To Get Even Better Results With EFT Tapping.  I want to make sure that you have the best tools and techniques available so that your EFT Tapping results can be outstanding as well.

I’ve been using EFT Tapping for myself and teaching it to others for more than a decade. I’ve developed a lot of skill and “tricks” for uncovering issues and aspects for tapping. It is such an integral part of my life, that I have trouble figuring out exactly when I started using it.

But I’ve done more than just use it myself, I’ve been a student of EFT as well.  I’ve studied Gary Craig’s EFT training videos and earned my EFT Cert1 through the only certification program he recommended shortly before he retired.

Probably the biggest contributor to the skills I have developed with tapping comes from my “detective skills” which I have honed during my Engineering career.  As a Field Application Engineer and an International Technical Support Engineer I have not only had to understand the technology that my customers and I were working with, but also had to find alternate ways of looking at things in order to figure out what’s really happening behind the scenes. 

Another big contributor is the wide variety of “healing modalities” that I’ve studied, or been exposed to, over the last 25 or so years.  I can honestly say that I don’t even begin to understand how I created some of the results that I did.  But what really matters is that the results were created, and in the end, that’s what I’m all about – results. 

21 Ways To Get Even Better Results With EFT Tapping including my best “secrets” for great results

That’s one thing that you can count on with Engineers – we go for consistent, repeatable results.  We may not always understand the lowest level of mathematical details of what we do, but we do understand what will get repeatable results.

So let me help you get even better results with EFT Tapping by sharing some of my “secrets” with you throughout this series.

If you’re new to EFT, and want to learn EFT for free, be sure to check out the EFT Quick Start Video Learning System and also print out the EFT Tapping Points Cheat Sheet as well.

You can also read through my first EFT Tapping Series, “How to do effective EFT Tapping – The Fundamentals Series” by following this link.

 

One of the tapping strategies that I will often use I refer to as the Tap-And-Tell Technique, and it leads to some very effective EFT Tapping. Basically what I will do is tell the story of what is upsetting to me or what’s bothering me while continuously tapping my way through the EFT tapping points. I will usually do multiple rounds of tapping as I am continuously tapping through the points while I’m telling the story. What I find for myself is that the emotional intensity falls away fairly quickly with a few rounds of tapping.

This is a bit of a different approach than Gary Craig teaches in his “Tell The Story Technique” training, which can be found here: http://tapping4.us/gary-tellstory.   In that case, the idea is to start out by telling the story of the incident, from the beginning.  But you stop to do some EFT Tapping any time that the emotional intensity, or SUDS, increases much beyond a zero.  The idea here is to nibble away at the emotional intensity while it is still relatively low.  You wan to be sure to bring it back down every time it starts to climb, thus minimizing the emotional intensity each step of the way. This process definitely creates very effective EFT Tapping sequences.

One other interesting thing that I’ve noticed when I used the Tap-and-Tell technique, is that my focus and intention will often shift as I go through the tapping process. It’s not at all unusual for my focus to shift to various aspects of an incident as I’m telling the story.

Try the Tap-And-Tell Technique for Effective EFT Tapping

But what I find a little bit surprising sometimes is the realization toward the end of the tapping, that my intention has shifted also. Sometimes, when we are upset because we feel like we have been wronged by someone else, there may be an unstated intention that comes out as part of the tapping – to make that person wrong for doing what they did to us. If you’re anything like me, you may not be “the most kind and generous person” when you’re upset. Sometimes I find that part of my intention with the things that I voice, as I’m tapping and telling the story, is to verbalize how wrong that person is for what they did to me. Especially at the beginning of the tapping sequence, when I’m the most upset about it, I feel totally justified by ranting and raving about how wrong that person was for what they did to me.

The nice thing that I’ve noticed is that by the end of several rounds of effective EFT tapping I will often find that my viewpoint has shifted a bit. There are times where I will shift from being in battle with the person about how wrong they were for what they did, to realizing that they probably were having a bad day also, and were just responding to their triggered state or their upset, and they really were doing the best that they could – in spite of how it may look to the outside world.

Once I get to that point, I know that I really have released the upset and I can move on with my day and not worry about it bothering me more anymore.

I have found this “Tap-And-Tell” technique so useful, that I created a website around that idea. While it may not be as “politically correct” as “Tap-And-Tell” it certainly has a much more memorable name.  Go check it out hereand you can learn how to use “Tap-And-Bitch” to create some effective EFT Tapping for you too!