With EFT Tapping

NOTE: This post was left in DRAFT mode since I wrote it on February 1st, 2015.  It has finally seen the light of day (on July 8th, 2023!) as I’m moving this site from an outdated (and problematic!) WordPress install to static HTML web pages so that my web host will quit charging me $5/month for access to an old version of PHP (V7.4). FYI: I had grand plans but I didn’t end up “sharing some of my thoughts and feelings here on my blog and also on FaceBook” as I written below.

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True confessions time: I don’t love ME as much as I would like to, or honestly would be good for me. And I’m pretty much like every other person on planet earth these days.  I could stand to love myself more…and that starts with being less critical of myself.

Sure, we all have shortcomings in our own eyes. And we’ve been taught really, really well to look at how we screwed up, rather than our victories.  Case in point: How many of us have gotten papers back while we were in school with “-5” on them or even the dreaded “-1” that says, “Try harder! You’re still not measuring up. You’re still not perfect!”

As part of our upbringing we’ve been taught to focus on the negative, by constantly reminding us of how badly we’ve “missed the mark.” Rarely, if ever, is there a celebration around getting a 95%, or 80%, or even 65% “right” which can be a HUGE victory!

When I was in college studying to get my degree in Electrical Engineering, we had one class from a visiting German professor.  Unfortunately for all, but especially the students, his English left a LOT to be desired.  I don’t think there was a person in that 400 level Controls class who understood the material – with the possible exception of one person.  His name was Greg Wisdom!  Talk about being set up to be forced into high standards – with a last name like Wisdom, you can’t be a C student!

When it came time for the first test in that Controls class, we were all befuddled by the test to say the least.  When the Prof’ handed back the tests we were all devastated by the scores – yes even Greg was.  He got a 40!

Normally, Greg was considered to be the “curve wrecker” because if the prof’s didn’t throw out his scores, most of the rest of class would fail if they were being graded on a curve. He had gotten a 40% out of 100. Just imagine how that must have felt to him.

And then we found out what the average was on the test…it was a four! Yes four out of 100! And most of us breathed a sigh of relief.

Greg’s opinion of himself certainly rebounded when he heard that, but knowing him, I’m sure there was still a bit of self criticism regardless.

So where in your life have unrealistic expectations hurt you, or caused your opinion of yourself to be less than it might otherwise be? I know there are a number of situations where that’s the case for me.  And as you would expect, those most certainly are tappable incidents.

My promise to myself, at least for February – the month that brings love to the forefront with Valentines Day – is to do something every day to show myself that I love myself.  And one of those things will be to do some tapping in order to release the emotional charge around some of those incidents that “left a mark” and lowered my love toward myself.

I encourage you to do the same.  Take some time to reflect on how kind and wonderful you really are, because I’m pretty sure that if you’re interested in reading the kinds of things that I share here, that you’re not the world’s biggest jerk.  That title is definitely reserved for someone else! And we’ve all probably got a few names to contribute to the list of nominees! 😉

In addition to doing some tapping today, I took a proactive step toward loving myself more and attracting love into my life.  I invested in a course from my friend and EFT Tapping colleague Stefan Gonick.  His course is called Finding The Love You Want: The Breakthrough Program.  Stefan and I are part of a year long mentoring and EFT Tapping program by Margaret Lynch.  Several of the other members of this mentoring program have started in on Stefan’s program as well, and have given it rave reviews.  So I couldn’t help myself – as a single guy who’s last relationship ended more than 2 years ago – it’s time (past time actually!) to not only find the love I want, but the love I deserve too!

I’m starting Stefan’s program today, and I’ll be sharing some of my thoughts and feelings here on my blog and also on FaceBook.  If you’re inspired by what I share, or even if you’re just curious about what’s in the program, I’d encourage you to click on this link and learn more.  I’ve set up a special page where you can see the video that Stefan put together that talks about the program.  A bit of brutal honesty here, in my opinion at the beginning of the video Stefan looks a little “stiff” or awkward, but as the video progresses you’ll find some great content and really come to appreciate what he has to share. I know that I do, that’s for sure!

Oh, and if you choose to purchase one of his programs through my affiliate link, I’ve got a bonus for you.  If you send a copy of your email receipt to me at Brad (at) WithEFTtapping.com I’ll be happy to get on the phone (or Skype if you’re outside the continental US) for a free 30 minute tapping session on any topic you’d like.  And I’ll also send you a copy of a mind map that I created that I call “How to create more love in your life!” It has a whole bunch of suggested places to go looking for subconscious limitations and messages about love.  I’ve gotten great feedback on it, and I can’t wait to share it with you!

This is one of those that I stumbled across myself as I was doing my own work. It lead to some really powerful insights and some deep inner work too!

I was looking at my relationship with my parents from the viewpoint of a young child. After all, that’s the origin of where so many things first “get stuck” in our lives.  I was exploring the things I felt disappointed about from my childhood.

All of a sudden this very powerful phrase came to mind and I did some wonderful tapping around. I used the setup phrase, “Even though they didn’t show me they love me the way I needed them to, I deeply and completely love and except myself.”

Disappointed they didn’t do it the way I needed them to…

The key here is that they didn’t show me in the way that I needed them to show me. It’s not that they didn’t love me.  It’s that through the eyes of the child I was way back then, I didn’t recognize that they loved me…base on my pre-teen interpretation of their actions. And that was especially true in those moments of childhood upset, or childhood disappointment for things not going my way. So it’s kind of a viewpoint of, I needed them to do THIS, and they did THAT instead. And that thing they did, wasn’t “love” to me.

(As a parent myself, I’m sure that I “inflicted” some version of that upon my children too.  It just comes with being a parent, I’m sure!)

As a more concrete example, from the viewpoint of a young child (who knew that money was not an issue for the family) when I received that Sears five-speed stingray bike for my birthday instead of the 10 speed Schwinn that I really wanted, I took that to mean that I wasn’t “good enough” or I wasn’t “loved enough” to be given the bike that I really wanted, and would have served me well form many years to come. Certainly that was not the message that my parents intended to send to me, but that was how I interpreted it as a preteen.

(Yes, all of my friends did have 10-speeds, and I was the only one who didn’t.  I grew up being the odd-man-out in many ways because my parents weren’t willing to invest a little more in things which would have brought me into the social norms of the time.  I was even teased about wearing Sears corduroy pants instead of blue jeans in Jr. High.)

There was another “Christmas” incident that probably happened around the same age.  Both my (13-years older) sister and I wanted a clock-radio for Christmas. She got the big AM/FM clock radio that was really nice and sounded great, and I got the lousy little AM only clock radio with the little tiny speaker that sounded bad.  My interpretation, again through the eyes of a pre-teen with three 10+ year older siblings, was that I wasn’t “good enough” or “loved enough” to receive what I wanted and what would serve me long term.  (I never did get an AM/FM clock radio.)

Now the rest of the story, is that…

I was at the age were a little boy goes around searching the house for where the Christmas presents are hidden.  I remember finding several boxes wrapped in unprinted paper with names in pencil on them.  I’m pretty sure that I found my sister’s clock-radio that day.

The other thing that I found was the Chemistry set that I had really really wanted for Christmas a few years before.  It had not been given to me that year, and I never did receive it for Christmas or my Birthday, or anything else.  I though for sure that I was going to get it that year for Christmas.

…but I didn’t.  And that left me silently wondering if I was being punished for something…something like snooping around looking for Christmas presents.   Of course nothing was ever said to me about it.  Heck, I even doubt that my parents knew that I’d found it. 

But I always wondered, “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me that means I won’t get what I want? What’s wrong with me that means I can’t have what I want?”

That gut-wrenching question haunted me most of my life. 

And in my moments of sadness and disappointment it still comes up…or at least echos of it do. It’s something that I’ve invested lots of time tapping on when I stumble across incidents that have a component related to those feelings.

(Some time I’ll write about the vow that I found that was associated with that painful question.  That vow was holding things in place in a major way until I spotted the vow and released it!)

30-40 years after that Christmas, I saw the alcohol lamp that would have been part of that Chemistry set.  It was downstairs in the basement workshop of my parents home.  I asked my Dad about the Chemistry set.  He said that one parent had bought it and the other objected.  And then later when it was revisited again, the rolls had switched between who objected and who didn’t, so I never got it!  In the end, they finally dismantled the chemistry set (some 20 years after the purchase) when they were considering giving it to one of my nephews and decided that the chemicals “might not be good any more.”

Needless to say those incidents obviously left a mark since I’m still bringing it up.  But the insight and understanding I received by looking back on that incident, and spotting, “…the way I needed them to…” was nothing short of amazing.

So if you have something like that in your past I would suggest doing some tapping on, “Even though they didn’t show me they love me the way I needed them to, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.” Give that a try see if it doesn’t make a difference for you too.

And I’ll let you in on a secret…

This could be applied to anyone who “didn’t love you the way you needed them to.”  That means parents, family, friends, spouses, lovers, bosses, coworkers, you name it!  I’d be shocked if every person on the planet didn’t have some form of this issue buried in their personal history.

So if you have “a chemistry set” in your history, please leave a comment below, and be sure to LIKE this over on FaceBook and comment there too!

P.S.  My former girlfriend gave me “a chemistry set” for Christmas one year.  It was made up of various kinds and flavors of Tea.  It was nice of her to recognize the pain that incident caused and do her best to help smooth it over.  Unfortunately, while I have tapped away much of the pain, the incident will always be a part of my history.  I just need to continue to take any residual emotional charge off of it with EFT Tapping.  I still feel sad for that little boy and the spirit-crushing blows that came from those incidents. Guess I’ve got some more tapping to do!  Even though…

Click and LIKE on Facebook….

I’ve been in battle with the HOA about their landscape “friendly reminder notices” not containing enough detailed information to enable be to “fix the problem.” 

This has escalated to the point where I’ve requested a hearing with the HOA Board to try and resolve the issue.  I’ve written to them with my view on what’s happening and let them know that we all want the same thing: the problem fixed! I’ve done everything that I can at this point and now it’s time to wait. 

But I just can’t let it go!  I keep ruminating on it.  I have lots of conversations in my head about it.  I’ve tapped on it several times, and have been able to release a lot of the tension around it.  But I still just can’t let it go yet.

So I tapped on, “Even though I just can’t let this go, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.” And in the middle of the tapping I had clear realization.  The issue that keeps triggering me around this is not receiving the “friendly reminder” or even the second notice, it’s the fact that when I receive the second notice that I feel blindsided because to the best of my ability I’ve already dealt with the issue.  If you’ve ever been surprised by a problem that you didn’t see coming, especially when you thought everything was fine, or at least going to be fine, then you know the feeling….

“I’ve been blindsided!”

That “I’ve been blindsided” realization opened up a whole can of memories about where I was blindsided and how I felt about it.  And all of the feelings were very much the same – Shock, Disbelief, Anger, Resentment, and more. 

So I’ve got some more tapping to do on this one, especially with all of those emotions tying all of those incidents together with their emotional similarities. Yeah, that’s something that is DEFINITELY worth tapping on and releasing. I can only imagine how much better I’ll feel afterward. And I’ll probably be much more able to just…let it go!

UPDATE: “Surprise!” Let it go….

Update: I did a bunch more tapping and was surprised to see that ALL “surprises” were seen as negative!  Needless to say I was surprised by that!

I started tapping on, “Even though surprises blindside me and are a problem, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though nothing good ever comes out of getting  a surprise – I’m usually just disappointed that I got a “surprise” instead of what I really wanted, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway. Even though whenever I’ve tried to create a surprise with love and good wishes, I’ve been betrayed and it’s gone badly, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.”

That seems to have helped quite a bit. As I was tapping, a bunch of memories of the stories and “proof” that supported “surprises are bad” came floating to the surface, ready to be released with EFT Tapping.  And now, when I look at the “HOA stuff” I still feel that it’s unfair, but pretty much all of the other emotional hooks are gone.

PROGRESS!  It’s a wonderful thing!

What is lurking in your past that would be really useful to release and let it go with EFT Tapping?  Share your comments below.  And if you found this post useful or interesting, please LIKE the WithEFTTapping fan page on Facebook and visit here often.

WTF? Yes, this time I really DO mean “Welcome To Facebook!” 

Today is the very first day that the With EFT Tapping website and Facebook Fan Page are both live and ready for your visit.  I’ve been hard at work, behind the scenes for a long time, getting all of the tools, tricks, and secrets ready to share with you.  And today is the public unveiling!

With EFT Tapping has gone from just a thought  for a community of people interested in using EFT Tapping to transform their lives, into something even better.

I’ve been using and teaching EFT Tapping for about 15 years now, and during the last 5 years I have also focused on learning lots about “internet marketing” and all of the mechanics of building WordPress websites like this one.

It was a little over 5 years ago that I got my “last” layoff notice from a high-tech company.  I decided that I was done living with the uncertainties of working for some huge, impersonal company, for a boss who really didn’t care about their “underlings” as people. I’d been seen as a “resource” rather than a person for far too long.  It was time to bring some humanity back into my life. So I set out on a journey to create a life for myself where I can tie together my two greatest “loves” – Technology and Personal Growth – through helping people all over the world to…

Transform Your Life…With EFT Tapping!

My goal for my company, Transformation Bay LLC, is to create a financially abundant living for myself and my family.  And I plan do do so by helping people to transform their lives from, just surviving the day to day grind, into thriving in a life they love. 

I won’t apologize for saying that I plan to do so by “helping people profitably.” If I am struggling all day long to simply put food on the table and a roof over my head, how much energy do you think I will have left to give back to the world, and be of service? However, when I’m making a comfortable living, by helping people profitably, I will not only be able to give more in my business, but also through my business.

I’ve done enough personal work over the last 25 years moving down this path of self-improvement to know that I’m not the only one who appreciates a guiding hand on the journey.  I’ve been blessed to have met so many generous people who have been both financially thriving and giving at the same time.  Even so, I still see them stumble sometimes as the weight of the general “poverty consciousness” lands on their shoulders.  Tapping is certainly a great way to address that, but sometimes it takes a bit more of a radical shift in perspective too!

You can’t save the world if you can’t pay the rent!

And I plan to pay the rent by helping people profitably so that I can continue to help even more people.  Sure, I’ll have plenty of free resources so that anyone can get started with EFT Tapping.  The first of those is available right now.  It is a way to learn EFT Tapping free online with the EFT Quick Start Video Learning System.  The link is also in the menu system at the top of each page on this website.  In about 23 minutes one can go from not knowing what EFT Tapping even is, to knowing how to start applying it in their life. 

And there is another one of my sites which is loaded with free EFT Tapping videos and scripts too.  I teach people how to release their emotional upset fast on that site.  I’ve often said that we have a natural propensity to “bitch and complain” about the things that upset us.  And in my book, the best way out of that upset is to use EFT Tapping while focusing on the actual upset.  This technique is exactly what I teach over at TapAndBitch.com where I show people how to release their emotional upset fast!

Would you help me celebrate this “birthday” by leaving a comment below and give a FaceBook LIKE to the WithEFTTapping fan page please?  And if you could share it too, that would be AWESOME! 

Oh, and have some cake too!

Thanks for your help with the LIKE and SHARE!
Brad

I want to share with you the things that have given me the best, and most consistent, results.

That’s why I created this series of 21 Ways To Get Even Better Results With EFT Tapping.  I want to make sure that you have the best tools and techniques available so that your EFT Tapping results can be outstanding as well.

I’ve been using EFT Tapping for myself and teaching it to others for more than a decade. I’ve developed a lot of skill and “tricks” for uncovering issues and aspects for tapping. It is such an integral part of my life, that I have trouble figuring out exactly when I started using it.

But I’ve done more than just use it myself, I’ve been a student of EFT as well.  I’ve studied Gary Craig’s EFT training videos and earned my EFT Cert1 through the only certification program he recommended shortly before he retired.

Probably the biggest contributor to the skills I have developed with tapping comes from my “detective skills” which I have honed during my Engineering career.  As a Field Application Engineer and an International Technical Support Engineer I have not only had to understand the technology that my customers and I were working with, but also had to find alternate ways of looking at things in order to figure out what’s really happening behind the scenes. 

Another big contributor is the wide variety of “healing modalities” that I’ve studied, or been exposed to, over the last 25 or so years.  I can honestly say that I don’t even begin to understand how I created some of the results that I did.  But what really matters is that the results were created, and in the end, that’s what I’m all about – results. 

21 Ways To Get Even Better Results With EFT Tapping including my best “secrets” for great results

That’s one thing that you can count on with Engineers – we go for consistent, repeatable results.  We may not always understand the lowest level of mathematical details of what we do, but we do understand what will get repeatable results.

So let me help you get even better results with EFT Tapping by sharing some of my “secrets” with you throughout this series.

If you’re new to EFT, and want to learn EFT for free, be sure to check out the EFT Quick Start Video Learning System and also print out the EFT Tapping Points Cheat Sheet as well.

You can also read through my first EFT Tapping Series, “How to do effective EFT Tapping – The Fundamentals Series” by following this link.